tagalongs

I am a cookie fiend! Those damn girl scouts must be slipping something into the tagalongs because I NEED THEM!!!! Need, not want! Gonna call tomorrow and see if I can score!

I need....

to be a better wife,
a better daughter,
a better grandchild,
to DEEP clean my house,
to learn patience,
to learn forgiveness,
to quit sleeping my life away,
to set a goal daily....and obtain it :),
to quit procrastinating (at least until tomorrow),
to express myself when someone hurts me,
to get off the iPad and start living.......

realizations

One person can wreak havoc beyond imagination. One person can destroy lives, families, peace, hopes, and dreams. But that person can only continue to do that if we relinquish power to them. I can't wait until that person goes away. It seems that once the blinders are off we begin to see things not only for what they are...but have ALWAYS BEEN.

Testing...1,2,3,4

Ok, deep breath, here it goes....The names have been changed to protect the innocent (or evil, ok, mostly evil). I initially began this to follow others, to gain insight into their thoughts and feelings. Now I find myself wanting to share my own feelings. Not with those who "know" me. I mean, let's be honest, most of "them" don't really know me-or even care to. I want so badly to put it out there. Even in this forum, I find it scary. The truth is, I'm tired of being hurt. Hurt by family, hurt by "friends". So much of my life has been defined by hurt AND I'M SICK TO DEATH OF IT. Soooo, I stay in my little house and stay to myself. It keeps me from forming (or trying to) relationships. I guess its a kind of self-imposed "protection" from others. Unfortunately I'm the kind of person who (when I commit to a relationship) will do anything and everything for someone. Usually the someone doesn't reciprocate and that's part of MY problem...I hope/expect/want them to. WRONG ANSWER! I feel like I give and give, but it's never enough (for the "takers"). This is my bitchfest manifesto...I am worn out by life. I'm blessed to have a wonderful husband. He truly is my salvation. Sometimes, he's the only thing in life that keeps me going...ok, most times-you caught me. I know, I know, I'm lucky and blessed because...yada yada...but I'm also severely depressed. I think I'm too sensitive and feel too deeply to be here among "them". Thank you God...Ryan is my rock.